We need to learn how to fight.

I tell you there is a lot wrong with society today and I could write a book cursing the darkness and I won’t make a dent in it in my little blog post.  Also, there are many solutions to the many problems in our society but one thing that will help in many if not all of the areas that are crumbling is…we need to learn how to fight.

I talked to some students yesterday…they lost their friend to gun violence. An argument broke out and to settle it someone pulled out a gun and shot em up.  A few months ago my nephew came home to a party and after some words were spoken he was shot in the chest and killed.  Whatever happened to good old fashioned bare knuckle fights.  A guy called you out, you tried to turn the other cheek but finally you settled it like men.  You met, talked trash for a little bit and then swung fists and wrestled around in the dirt until one of you won and then you went home and told stories about it.  When I was a junior in high school, this punk Walker was always talking…I mean always.  He got on my nerves and then finally I spoke up.  He didn’t like it and wanted to fight.  I was a bit nervous but I was in.  We met and fought (I won). Guess what…the next day life went on.  I learned some life lessons about speaking my mind and he learned some life lessons about speaking less.  But it was over! No real harm was done.

Another area we need to learn how to fight is in the bedroom (no not that way you pervert). Spouses have to learn how to argue effectively.  Whenever I do premarital counseling I always include a session on learning how to fight.  How to resolve conflict.  You see too often we see the point of an argument is to win.  The point of the argument is to reach resolve.  Sometimes a couple will bottle up their emotions until it explodes and shrapnel of the relationship are spread for miles.  Sometimes the aggression comes out passively and eats away at the spouse like a hundred small piranha.  Sometimes it comes out through abuse…physical, emotional and spiritual.  Sometimes you just run from it.  Run to a bottle, a pill, a computer screen, a job, another lover.  Spouses need to learn how to speak with respect and listen with respect.  Value one another.  Allow for the possibility that you are wrong…or even that you are both right and find a way to compromise.  Learn how to hug one another when the argument is over and be able to say I still love you.  The opposite of love isn’t hate…it’s apathy.

There are many things we need to do as a society.  We need to respect our differences, we need to be less selfish and lord knows we need a spiritual revival but we also need to learn how to fight.