mistake #2 – the comparison game

Honestly, I do care about numbers.  I care about how many students we have in our program.  I don’t think you can get too many people in Church.  I mean when do you cap it off?  At what point do you tell the next kid, “I’m sorry we are all full, go to hell.”  That is why though we are running 250 students in Moncks Corner and by any persons standards that would be great, I am still not satisfied.

All of that to say that last year one of my biggest mistakes wasn’t that I cared to get a large youth group.  My biggest mistake was looking around rather than looking up.  My standard was not seeking who God could use us to get into the kingdom this week.  Often times it was wanting to the biggest, the most influential, the most impressive.

I loved that we were up there with the “big boys”, Northwood, Seacoast, Cathedral of Praise.  I am ashamed that last sentence was typed by me.  However, if I am going to share my mistakes you deserve to hear the ugly ones.  I compared something as precious as teens souls to other churches like they were pieces of furniture.

One thing that I often teach others is that vision should be 1) given by God 2) God sized 3) not swayed by outside influences.  When you begin to look around rather than looking up, your vision can get off course.  Then you are in trouble.

We didn’t have too much trouble with that last year but only because I have a great team that often won’t let me make stupid mistakes.

I have prayed, asked forgiveness and moved on but that was one of my biggest mistakes of 2008.

mistake # 4 – revolving door

A year ago I pitched a nutty saying that we needed some sort of tracking software.  So in true Pointe North fashion we found the best out there and got it.  We use a software called fellowship 1.  It is a great software but incredibly cumbersome.  Then, when we got into the new facility we got FANCY.  We got the cool little key fobs and had automatic check in.  We spent hundreds of dollars on equipment, fobs (those things are expensive) and software…AND DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITH IT!

We run on average 225-250 students every Wednesday and have probably 8-12 new kids a week…that tells me we have a MAJOR revolving door.  Students are leaving as much as coming.  Somewhere in that fancy program I can run all kinds of reports to find out who is coming and who isn’t.  However, I haven’t done it.  Follow up is important not only for retension but also to discover weaknesses.  Why is a student no longer attending?  Are we too big?  Did a worker offend them?  Is the Pastor too boring?  These questions are vital to becoming more excellent.

This year we have committed to using information not simply taking it.  We are committing to do a better job of follow up (which should be easy since we didn’t do any last year.)

mistake #5 – No man is an island

It is important in ministry to have another pastor to spend time with.  It is crucial to have someone to bounce ideas off of and to have a person to tell you that you are headed into a dangerous territory.  I have had the pleasure of having some awesome men of God that I considered accountability partners.  In Columbus, Randy Reynolds was a great friend of mine and the first friend that I had as a believer.  We are still brothers to this day.  When I moved to Charleston I prayed for another friend to partner with in ministry.  God sent David Walker.  We got into a lot of mischief together but we also spent hours together discovering the mysteries of God’s Kingdom.  He is still like a brother to me.  When I moved to Moncks Corner, Jamie Williams was a local youth pastor that totally welcomed me into the community and we had dozens of discussions about Youth Ministry, Church and the Kingdom.  He is still like a brother to me.

Last year, I didn’t have another pastor around that I kept in touch with.  I have great friends and great co-workers and great volunteers but it is not the same.  It caused me a lot of frustration and often I felt like I was on an island.

You can’t do ministry alone…don’t try.

mistake #6 – family feud

At Pointe North, Sunday is the Super Bowl every week.  We gear our energy, resources and creativity toward that end.  However, when you are the leader of a “support” ministry often it is easy to allow the enemy to plant seeds of jealosy in your spirit.  I deserve more budget, I need more staff, I need more this and I need more that.  Afterall, I run a service just as dynamic…these are all phrases straight from the pit of hell and everytime I thought or uttered these words Satan laughed his tail off.

I am ashamed to even say I did utter those phrases.  I was annoyed when other ministries got resources I felt I deserved.  It caused me to distrust my team and took my focus off of the overall vision.

Listen, youthpastors we have an incredibly hard job that most people will never be able to understand.  However, it is up to us to do what God called us to do with what we have been given.  Fight for your ministry, fight for your budget but DON”T FIGHT THE FAMILY OR THE VISION!

It took a while to build the trust back from my team and my pastor.  Heed my words, and don’t make the mistake I did.

mistake #7 “creating” chaos

I love creativity, I am not that creative but I love the process.  I work hard to package my sermon series in themes that capture students attention.  I develop graphics, intro videos, and countdowns to hit home my point.  However, sometimes I have let that take priority rather than the things that matter like my prayer life, time with Jesus or sermon development.  Three weeks ago is a prime example.  I put together an awesome Christmas program with games, videos, skits and dynamic graphics and when I got up to speak I did so with authority only to get home to have my wife blast me for misquoting the Bible not once, not twice but THREE TIMES!  I explained that I didn’t spend as much time in sermon prep as normal to her laughing response, “YOU THINK?!?”. 

I am not going to stop striving for creativity.  I will not stop doing series, videos or graphics but I have learned that those things don’t change lives but the Word of God never returns void. 

mistake #8 – unrealistic promises

I stood from the pulpit this fall and said that I was going to hit every campus and would hit at least one campus every week during lunch.  The youth were excited and began to look for me.  The first week past and I was booked with meetings, the second week I was slammed with planning, the third week came by and my kids got sick…and by week 4 my integrity was damaged.

I know we mean well, but we need to make sure we can back up what we say…especially when it comes from the same stage we are sharing God’s truth.  Teenagers logic is if he lied about that how can I know he is for real when he is talking about God’s Word.  I let my intentions cloud my reality.  My reality is at my church, we meet, we do heavy programming and I don’t have a staff.  So, my schedule is pretty tight.  So, I should have known better.

So, I had to look at one kid in the eyes a few months ago and say, I will get there but I don’t know when.  His eyes dropped.  I felt like a heel.